小感触

夜深人静 当你无聊的时候 总会东想西想
这时 就会疑问 为何没人找我了
是自己人缘太烂了？ 还是怎着了？
想不通的时候 就会来点小情绪
现在最流行的面子书 看了又看 就是没有留言
偏偏身边的朋友留言可多了 照片可精彩了
如果是以前 或许会很冲动 乱写个什么情绪低落的句子
现在 发现年纪长了 真的想稳定的 找个伴了
有点不想理会了 你们活得何等精彩 不管我事
虽然心里藏了点羡慕，吃醋
我必须成熟起来了
不再为这种感情的事执着，哪怕是友情
不想再找借口埋怨别人 他们也睬我都傻
只有不断充实自己 让自己成为更好的 好让别人也注意到我 羡慕 吃醋我
不想再为了减肥乱花钱 结果还是两头空
只要有心 任何免费方法都行得通！
只有为自己加油了！真的 不是开玩笑的
真的要认真过活了 虽然到现在还不懂活着的真意
只有向前走 没有回头望了
我的人生又有多少个十年？

回顾2011

2012新年快乐！

2011年，对我来说，挑战多多，低落多多
今年，本来是最好的开始，因为一毕业出来就答应自己会好好找工，存钱
结果……工作不好，接了份自己不喜欢，也没有我的未来的工作。
年头开始以为会有一大笔存款
结果到年尾整个是穷到……
一如往常地，只有越来越肥
整个很惨了……2011就当作是我买教训的一年吧
好的！虽然每次新的一年都一样，但这就是传统。
哈哈！新的一年当然要有新的愿望和梦想啦~
希望2012事业比2011更上一城楼
希望2012不会乱花钱，存到我真正的第一桶金^^
希望2012我真的可以减肥瘦下来
希望2012我可以找到我的另一半？哈哈^^
2012的我加油！
2012的大家也要加油！
没有不好，只有更好！
^^

im a loner

once in a month im so down so emo so anger so hot temper
im so sorry for dat
but i really did feel that
im seriously scared to be alone be left out yet i love to be alone be left out
im a super wierdo just ignore me
u will get hurt if u make friend with me
guess the relationship and earth is not my thing
there is jz some moment i dunwan to talk and laugh to anyone
there is really no one can open my door and step inside even i myself can't
i think, i dont need a friend even im seriously so need it
cause i jz dun like to feel complicated in relationship
and, complicated is not my thing
i, dunwan to make best friend
i will just keep all to myself
im a loner.

Im just being very well with myself alone. it's just that sometimes i still feel emo. or should i say all the time. im trying all i can to be stronger by myself and act like i never were that tough before.

u are so fucking fake!
everytime when i thought u were different
sure i will see or realize something
that u are fucking fake!
always be good in front me den backstabbed me behind...
ok! i do have my limit too.
dont think im scared of u!
wont ever treat u that good anymore!
u slowly wait la!
fucking emo ppl!
diu!!!

o0o

最近活得充满怨气！
公共交通是烂到！
工作内容是闷到！
钱是少到！！！
怎样看开？
我真的觉得很累咯！
屌！！！！
o0o

Genting

-Genting overnite trip-

it was quite fun, eventhough sometimes there is some boring moment?
not to say boring, but just duno wat to do and do the wrong decision...LOL

1st time, i went to genting alone myself by taking bus and awana.

1stly thanks to my dearest weng yee sent me thr....thank you so much....=)
it was nice going to a place by myself alone...
i dont need to worry about wat to talk...
but i need to worry how i go...haha
thanks to the taxi drive for showing me the direction...
im just being strange when i see ppl ask me for taxi...haha
this skyway, i took it myself for 1st time...
its good and felt freely...
although im feeling scared actually...
=D

wat happened to all the uncles??
so eager for S.X??
why all looking at us??
we dont look like and we dont dress like a CHIC too....
why ar??
do we really look like we came from Phillipine?
funny....we dont...but uncle, u look like Einstein to me..haha

aiyorr..i 1st time went a pub that i nvr expected...
all the 80-s songs came out...
酒干尚无卖，七情六欲，你最珍贵，单眼皮女孩……
wow...i thought i go drink to let myself get high...
mana eh zai...i more drink more down....
haha....this is seriously not high wei....
=(
i need to buy drunk....i need to be drunk....lol...

lets go clubbing gao gao lik next time ler...
adui....liquor liquor can ma??

this back home time..is scary xia..
why the skyway will stop at the half way??
and there is some windy windy...
our skyway not light enough....
is very heavy especially when the 2 heaviest sit on the same side...
haha...go there and sleep and go for walk sometimes is really good....
i will definitely go again....with someone i closed to....
hehe...den we will have lots to talk...=D

至我生命中的朋友们

我何德何能接受你们的恩惠
原来特地跑去帮我买票
我整个人是没话说得感动
觉得自己的行为，很对不起你们

又多一件感动的事发生了
我真的觉得，有时候我的朋友们真的对我太用心
我会怕，因为我怕我回报不了你们什么
为什么那么眷顾我？
明明我是如此的悲观
这些事只会让我觉得惭愧，承受不起

真心的你们
我又如何能回报？
我太无能了……
我这个朋友，你们谁认识着还真当衰呢
对不起……谢谢你们……

heart

need to find someone who i can really talk to right now.
but no one...
im panic over here...
im looking for jobs in singapore now so i can move out.
but wat are the things i have to consider?
no one telling me.
no one answering me.
ok...i guess im not welcoming...
peoples hate me too =)

the end

knw wat? u did that to me! im moving out!
now i know, u were dat dissapointed...
say truly..is u being too sensitive...
all the way i really didnt meant that...
but u think in that way...
not talking to u is my fault! cant i jus be silent cz i got nothing to talk?
u said i put on that face!
EXCUSE ME! DONT U KNOW I ALWAYS PUT THAT FACE ON ME WHEN I DUN TALK AND DUN SMILE?!!!!
jz because of that, u did not wan to wash my clothes for the entire week!!
i was so speechless...
oh my god...
now only i know, u were that dissapointed on me....
even i die now, u wont be sad...
i knew it. i jz feel so pain this moment..
u dun even wash my cloths for entire week....u knw wats dat mean to me???
i was so speechless right now...
how much i wish i could dissapear in front of u rite now...
do u know i couldnt face u anymore..
today the friday.
supposingly im feeling happy...
the end of the week, end of work stress
the start of holiday, start of rest...
tomorrow supposingly to celebrate his bd, with happy mood..
now...i know u were thinking like dat...
how am i going to be happy tml???
u were juz dun understand me....
i will go far far away from u...
i will...not use ur money anymore,
i will...not eat ur food anymore...
soon, i will...not stay ur hse anymore...
and, i will...need not u to wash my cloths anymore...
soon, it will be end for everything...

hate the love!

know wat...
dont ever assume me if you dont ever understand.
wat you said all i knew it.
but the reality is...whoever can change the current situation?
im trying all my best and all i can over here to make some changes.
im trying all i can to changing here.
but u nvr really understand it
so now, you blame me over here and there.
i felt so much pain.
im not dont want to do it.
im doing it now.
but did u see it?
but did u know it?
u nvr ask, and u assume for me.
so now, its all on me.
its all my fault.
i wasnt good daughter
i wasnt good child
i dissapointed u down.
i shud go die rite now.
God, please take away my life.
i dont give it a damn anymore.
you can take over my life whenever u want it.
i dont ever have a love one to care for anymore.
im just wasting my parents money.
im just wasting their love.
i dont deserve everything.
i hate all of the people.
i hate myself the most.
i hate you!!!

weekdays make me down

weekdays make me down.
i wouldnt know how to smile and talk much after reach home.
work time make me feel stress.
reach home, the people i met also make me feel stress.
the parent, i shouldnt treat like that
but, i cant help doing so.
it's just a way to keep away from being nagged by them.
or, part of the reason of =( is because im worry about my future?
everyday also thinking about this.
how am i going to be happier?
i really feel so lost.
i need to feel safe here...
where should i find the feeling?
someone? could at least someone talk to me please?
talk to me about happy thing? i duno wat is the happy thing though...
oh gosh...i feel emo again??
this mouth is keeping in a =( mode until friday night i think...

this momma did not talk to me for few days.
heard that she had been cried because of me.
im sorry, but i just cant control that feeling to u.
im thinking this way. i did not do wrong that day, why u being so sensitive to think in that way?
i didnt meant that.
and, im just being silent, i did not wan to talk to anyone as im having my little whispering.
im not ignoring u. i just duno wat to talk to u anymore.
the feelings and the thoughts are so much different now.
mum, you just dun understand me.
even i dun too.

안녕하세요

안녕하세요!!! (An nyeong ha se yo) (Hello）
제 이름은 효빙 입니디. (je i leu' meun hyo bing ib ni da ) (My name is HyoBing)
만나서 반갑습나다. (man na seo ban gap seup ni da) (Nice to meet you)

Today was the 1st day of my Korean language class!
I'm so exciting to learn it.
Today learned vowels =)
It was very tounge twisting as all the vowels were similar but yet so different.
Next week we are going to learn consonants XD

I know a bit of the Hangul as I learned it while Im watching Korean drama.
It was still very fun though.
Korean teachers were so pretty and handsome.
I taught by the Pretty one, not the handsome one.
Lol...Im awaiting for next class to be taught by the handsome oppa~
Jaja~

Weng Yee was so awesome with her pronunciation
she learnt so fast and pronounce so fast, yet so accurate.
She is doomed to be a Rapper? LOL...
Keep it up ya weng~~
So fun to learn with you.
As we can speak them together..
Next time we are going to speak it when we are outside.
hahaha~ peoples thought we are Korean??
Good thing though!!! muahaha =D

Fighting!!! =)

work life

weekdays 9-6
after a whole day of working
you will forget how to smile
all your face got with you is that =(
especially when you reach home
all you listening to is a nagging over and over
"throw the rubbish properly"
"cut the fruits"
"wash the plates"
you'll never take a break in between
except the time you driving or taking bus home
yeah, that's the only moment I got for myself.
and, the time you get into bed..
well well, today kinda stress though
im rushing all my deadline cases.
while peoples keep packing and leaving
you will get affected too, why can't I back home on time too?
faster complete the case...faster....
but seniors are quite pity...
they will have to stay up late to 7pm to done with all the counts...
salute!!! dears seniors...
should have learn to control emotions..
everybody has their own difficulties...
everybody paid for jobs too...
so, be nice to everyone...
ah peng!!! try to be nice and control your volcanic temper=)

weak life

there is a T-junction from my way of house to pyramid.
i think it is full of g~~~~
because for several times...
i go home at midnight.
i normally will go Puchong...
so when im going home, for sure i will wait at the T-junction for the traffic light.
today....is the most impressive to me???
i saw an ambulance coming from behind of me...
i was still thinking which area got accident happened again..
just at that moment, i heard a "BANG" in front of me.
when i look at it, a wira is already bump into a motorcycle...
and this hit is very heavy.
as the motor already half mashed...
i couldnt see the motorcylist..
after, the ambulance stop beside me...
the aidman got out from the car and asked the wira driver drive aside...
as this accident is stopping at the road..
this time, i will think that, this ambulance so "ngam ngam" appear at here this moment for this accident?? such a coincident...
2 indian motorcylist were there to help out...
then, i saw the "victim" was lying at the floor...
without helmet..but i duno how was he, as i din saw blood all around the road..
well well...
i think from wat i saw, the wira did not do wrong,
is the motor suddenly burst out....
the same way we are, is supposed to be red.
the wira way is in green, so he was just driving all his way....
haiz...everything was destinied rite???
is also lucky the car behind the wira did not bump into him...
if not, this will be a very very long accidet...
omg...luckily too that person did not bump in front my car...
if not, today i cannot sleep...and i have to go 收惊...to calm down my soul....
LOL....pray for the midnight drivers...please la...follow the traffic rules...
dont simply burst out la....its not good wei...u might hurting urself or others...
haizz...life too weak....be appreciate for those who want longevity =)

there are too much to say,
but there are too less words to describe.

what i did, was a shame.
i should not promote before i did.
this is what i always did.
im sad and angry about myself.

everytime i look into mirror.
i feel this girl...
very hatred...
how am i going to love others even i dun love myself...
my life given was a wasted to me...
my life should spare to others...
dun tell me i shouldnt think so as im so lucky as compared to others.
i know, but i couldnt handle it anymore.
just spare my lucky to others who eager for longevity.
i dun give my life a damn!
as long as i fulfill my dream...
i'll leave peacefully...

unless there is someday, i find my target...
i find my final destination...
then i will strive for live...
too hard to let go, too easy to take all...
i hate...

im confused.....
who going to lead me forever??
who wanna be my lamp??
>_<
where is my guidance angel???

broke @@

do you think a person can survive in a month with only RM290 left??
after minus out all her debts, credit cards, and transportation fees...
yes, im going to try for this crazy moneyless month =D

to believe

today was a day i believe in myself.
after yesterday, u told me to be patience
i must only last minute only can say give up or not.
its all depend on myself.
well, today when i rushed into kl sentral,
i saw my only bus leaving
i was like...OMG...am i going to wait another 30 mins?
i think, i might wan to try my luck
therefore, i keep walking fast
and pass trough the road
well well, im praying so hard..
bus bus bus, pls come to me..pls come to me..
another few more seconds! yes!! the bus is here!!!
muahaha XD i did it!!
i manage to rush the bus and be at home earlier than i can, if i did not pursue after it.
=)
what a happy day. to make myself believe i should believe more in myself =D

内心的告白

1。爬山记

今天去了爬山 - Bukit Ketumbar
第一次的体验，很特别
比我想象中的山路差多少点
我以为是楼梯似的
可是却要斜得多，滑得多
一路上，谢谢欣瑜的照顾
她一直在我背后看着我，等着我
我都很不好意思，觉得自己累人累物的
想说，为什么要参与？
到半山直接有害怕，想下去的感觉
甚至还有一种差不多升天的感觉
实在太累，太疼，太喘了
但是，路上的我的想法很奇怪
或许看戏太多，戏里的女主角不是都很坚强吗？
所以，我无论如何都会尽量坚持的
这种运动，实在对我来说太高难度了
下次要约我这个活动，我会三思
到了山顶，还感觉很踏实
都是好吃懒做害得啦
到达山脚我更是兴奋
终于第一次自己挑战了这样一座山
第一次挑战了这种爬山活动

2。减肥记
说到减肥，是我一生中最惭愧的事
上次说到天花乱坠似的一定减肥成功
毕竟花了那么大笔钱
看来，我还是去死算了
减到最后，我肥回去了
钱却一样还在付着……
我这是什么心态
所以现在有什么样的约会
我真的不想出席
我很讨厌出席
我每次都……
自卑心作祟，却不会努力实践自己的梦想
到底……我要受到怎样的打击？？
还是我对一切都免疫了？
无论什么都打不倒我的自卑心？
我还有自尊吗？
说了多少次？
说了多少年？
花我2个月的薪水的减肥药
也帮不倒我？！！！
人家早就瘦到不懂哪里去了
最起码也20kg咯……
唉……别在提什么减肥了
没人帮到自己，除了自己
那张嘴和那贪吃的脑袋，
可以不要再想食物了吗？
直接闲掉……

3。友情记
我到底烦不烦啊
话题说来说去还是一样
对于这个，我直接无话可说
人生，本来就是这样
不论怎么想，
这世界上都只有我自己一个人
再也不会有的了
我知道的

4。心情记
自己大不孝
脾气坏，难控制
事后才后悔
却也弥补不了什么
却也改变不了什么
自己太自私
不会想……
对不起了，父母
看到某个人说：
“自杀是胆小鬼们最后胆怯的行为。但是如果不胆怯，就会面临可怕的事情”
最近这种念头很常出现
心理的郁闷不知对谁说
又有谁可以真心的聆听？
每个人都有各自的烦恼，各自的生活
现在……又有谁会这样在乎一个人了？
到底我还剩下多少尊严？多少勇气？
我的最后距离我还有多久呢？
内心真的有点痛到我不知如何是好
有点麻木了……
别人是如此的坚强，如此的享活
我却是如此的懦弱，如此的腻活
我的天使去了哪里？
恶魔在作祟了……
严重的作祟……

拜托赐我懂得生活的意义
我真的不想成为胆小鬼
真的真的不想……

泡菜汤面

材料：泡菜，香肠，猪肉，米粉/面，鸡/江鱼仔精

做法：
1。先用江鱼仔精熬汤
2。后加入香肠或猪肉（自己想吃的卓料）
3。加入切小片的泡菜和泡菜汁（放久的泡菜最适合，因为最够味了）
4。再加入米粉/面
5。可以开动啦！

[这样的汤会有泡菜的味道，放越多，煮越久，越浓越好吃哦，酸酸刺激刺激的]